New York — UNN

A groundbreaking (and totally unnecessary) study from the American Digital Behavior Bureau (ADBB) has confirmed what many have feared: making a typo online hurts more than getting dumped.

According to the research, 87% of U.S. internet users admitted that being corrected on grammar — especially in public comment sections — caused “long-term emotional damage,” often surpassing the sting of romantic heartbreak.

“I wrote ‘they’re’ as ‘their’ once on a post that got 10k likes,” said Emily, 26, from Ohio. “The shame... it still follows me. I hear phantom asterisks in my sleep.”

The study found that the most traumatic typos include: confusing 'your' and 'you’re', typing 'looser' instead of 'loser', and accidentally writing 'pubic' instead of 'public' — the top cause of post deletions in 2024.

Meanwhile, traditional breakups were rated as “less public” and “less likely to go viral.”

Psychologist Dr. Chad Lexington of Stanford University explained: “A breakup affects two people. A typo affects your entire digital legacy. In the age of screenshots, nothing ever dies.”

To cope with 'typo trauma,' American netizens have adopted several defense mechanisms: pretending their account was hacked, using emojis to replace words, posting only memes, or going completely offline after misspelling 'definitely.'

The internet has also seen a rise in support forums like r/TypoTrauma, where users share their worst mistakes and receive emotional validation — often corrected by grammar bots within seconds.

One viral post read: “My ex left me on a Tuesday. But Reddit roasted me for typing ‘relevent’ instead of ‘relevant.’ That hurt more. Way more.”

In light of this cultural shift, therapists are considering adding Typo-Induced Anxiety Disorder (TIAD) to the next DSM diagnostic manual, right under 'Zoom Meeting Fatigue.'

The ADBB concluded its report with a chilling warning: 'Always proofread. Because the internet never forgives, and it definitely never forgets your spelling.'

Next week’s feature: “AutoCorrect: Humanity’s Most Passive-Aggressive Enemy.”